I wanted to turn back time and have her in my arms again.

This week it is exactly one year since I had one of the strongest experiences of my life. It was in Cambodia, when I thought I was there just to renew my Nepali visa and see the Apple of God’s Eyes work that Meena and Rosiane where starting at that time.

We could talk about the beauty of the city, the food, the culture, however, looking back today I need to share my indignation, sadness and impotence in coexisting with prostitution, abuse of children (girls and boys) in broad daylight.

Everyone who works with this type of occurrences is confronted with diverse cases. Yet, God saw to it that my life was transformed right at the beginning of my time in the country. We went to Sihanoukville, on the Cambodian border, where many instances of child labor and abuse occur.
We spend five days there, on each of them observing the day-to-day lives of children who are having their lives robbed from them with nobody caring a bit. I became acquainted with an organization that today I call “the door of hell.” They say they are providing jobs and opportunity to those girls and boys (all minors, many children who can’t be more than four years old). Providing them with folk art and fruit, among other things, to sell to the tourists. They make them easy targets of male pedophiles, evil and nauseating. With my own eyes I saw senior citizen men, truly old, with 15 to 16 year old girls.

On the last day, the last night, during the last hours that I would be there, compassion inundated our hearts. Rosiane, Meena and I couldn’t stop commenting how much we had come to love these people and about the situation the little ones found themselves in. We spent the days praying and declaring change in the picture we were seeing. It was already 9 p.m. Many of the children continued to work. One boy in particular started to talk with us. It was as if from out of nowhere they started to appear, one after the other, boys who were tired from the long day of work. We offered them servings of food and fruit smoothies. We helped them feel comfortable and we started to converse. About 10 or more boys were seated where we were. It was a beautiful moment. We were trying our best to communicate and speak of Jesus. Then suddenly I noticed someone at my side. When I turned my face, a girl, so small, three or four years old, was stopped near me. Her face and body were covered with sand. She carried a sack larger than she was. It was dirty, full of beverage cans. She, with her eyes closing from fatigue. I don’t even remember pulling her to my lap, and in less than a minute I wept and the girl slept.

Oh brothers and sisters, I would like to be able to truly share what transpired in that moment. Despair took over my spirit. I looked to heaven and cried to the Lord, “God, what am I going to do now? I cannot go and leave this girl here.”

We tried to find out who she was. We discovered she was with a little brother who also was working. I don’t know how long she slept in my lap, but the more I looked at her, cleaning her little face and smoothing her dirty, torn dress, the despair grew. The only thing I could think of was bringing her with me, but how? I knew there was no possibility of this. I was already leaving the city, going back to Siem Reap.

We didn’t have a house in that city. She had family, etc... Oh God! How difficult that moment was. After a time, she awoke, and remained lying on my lap, looking me hard in the eyes. I hugged her hard. I found myself loving that child, wanting to do something to take her out of the situation in which she found herself. I offered her something to eat and drink, and like a princess she sat and started to eat and serve her brother what she had in her hands.

The hours passed. Now she was playing, fed, rested, when in the blink of an eye, I look for her, and I see her leaving with the group, going in front, without even a look back. Not a good-bye, nothing...She walked away with her sack.

Despair returned, with many tears. I said to Rosiane, “She’s leaving. My God, she is leaving! What do I do?” In that moment I knew I couldn’t go to her, but why did she come? Why the whole experience? I felt so impotent. I wanted to turn back time and have her in my arms again.

God didn’t wait even 10 seconds to answer me. Still looking at her from far away, a child walking alone on her way, God told me that many people treat HIM that way, including me. They come to the Lord tired, beaten down, famished. God gives his love, protection, provision, cleans them, offers salvation. But when they are resupplied, they feel strong. They think they are self-sufficient to continue on their way. They don’t realize they are just children.

That girl won my heart. I pray for her. I continue to cry for her. I pray that angels of the Lord protect her from any and all types of abuse. I pray that she finds a safe place in the arms of the Father.

I don’t think I will ever see her again. But I hope to encounter her in eternity with the Lord. To you, I leave some requests. Do not abandon the safe place that God has for your life. It is so different from what we who are so limited have. I couldn’t bring her with me. But we know that God can do infinitely more. He is powerful to do abundantly more than we could ask or think, according to His power that is at work in us. Now, please, pray for the children who are being sold, trafficked, and abused in Cambodia, Nepal, Thailand, India, Brazil, among so many other places; children, adolescents and youth who are suffering from abuse and prostitution, and don’t know there is a good God who loves us. We are going to pray that the doors of hell are shut (errant organizations, brothels, etc.) and that houses of rescue, like the Girls of God’s Eyes’ program open. Especially today, I pray that God opens a house in Sihanoukville.

May God bless your life,

Marcinha